My partner is pregnant

I’m in shock

An unintended pregnancy can happen to anyone. We can take all the necessary precautions, but sometimes these fail. Nothing is 100%. Unintended pregnancy can cut across our future plans, hopes, expectations and dreams. You may be in shock after your partner has broken the news of her pregnancy, and you may not know what to do.

How do I respond?

You may want to make a quick decision to ‘fix’ the situation. However, take some time and consider your response.

Men often feel at a loss about how to respond. Sometimes they can feel as if they have no part in making the decision, particularly as issues surrounding unintended pregnancies can often be seen as ‘a woman’s right to choose’ – leaving men feeling shut out and redundant.

You may be glad to be relieved of the responsibility. You may even feel that your partner should make the decision by herself. In our experience few women want to make a choice about the future of their pregnancy without the support and input of their partner.

I want to support my partner

A common response is to say, “Whatever you choose, I’ll support you…” However, while this may appear a positive thing to say, it can often make a woman feel that the weight of the decision is on her shoulders alone.

You can best support your partner by talking honestly about the situation, about the options and about how you both feel. If your partner knows that you are really listening to her and sharing the responsibility for the decision then she will feel supported.

How do we decide?

Shock and panic can push you into doing something that has not been well thought through. It is important to ensure that you have all the information you need about the options – parenting, adoption and termination of pregnancy – before you make a decision.

You can make an appointment to talk with a Support Worker, either on your own or together as a couple.

Pregnancy Choices Leaflet